Theatre
societies will go to enormous and elaborate lengths to get a review on this
blog. That is what I tell myself anyway. After all, there must be some logical
reason as to why I found myself playing a bearded and concupiscent Sea Captain
in St Andrews’ Murder Mystery. Not
for my singing skills. Wisely this lot never let me get anywhere near the
stage. And acting, such as it was, comprised solely of improvised lechery with
the passenger audience. Click a few photos with the Cruise Captain and then sit
back and enjoy solving his murder. Stabbed in the back in his cabin before the
show starts. They may weep, unlikely, at my theatrical demise but I shall be
home supping the whiskies his character clearly enjoys. So that was St Andrews’
‘The Return of Inspector Garbutt’, a
homebred show by Terry Mills, in which the passenger audience were invited to
solve the mystery of who from the motley crew put the offstage knife into the unseen
and deserving back.
Given that I
spent more time with the audience than with the production I know more about
the former than the latter. Besides you can’t review a show you were a part of,
even though you weren’t actually in it. So I ain’t going to try. But I can
stick my oar into that audience, about time they got a crit. I mean, they turn
up everywhere and never get a mention. They must be thoroughly fed up. Dress
up, pay a fortune for parking, petrol, and tickets, buy drinks and a programme
and go home wishing, sometimes, that they had put it all towards the looming gas bill
or a fancied horse at Cheltenham. And not a squeak. Anywhere. Not a line in a
paper or a scrawl on a blog. So this is their turn. Agents, get out your cheque
books. Last week this unwary audience, cast as seafarers, performed
Some, mainly
the actor types, played up beautifully and others, even if bemused, entered
into the passenger spirit. A Mr and Mrs Smith, whoever they were, accepted
snide remarks with aplomb and a Mrs Foster gleefully regaled the story of her
falling under a Captain’s table. Dodgy chair legs or dodgy gin and tonics?
Sadly we shall never know. Not all were so easy. One anonymous lady declined an
invitation for a Friday dinner engagement with the said Captain. She had come
to see the show on Thursday and then she was going home. No theatrical nonsense
and no passenger playing for her. Even if provided a personal lifeboat and half
the bleeding admiralty. Some folks are hard work. The highlight was Miss Janet
Bray’s immersion into her unexpected role as sexual ingénue and the lowlight
the chatting up of a young lady who turned out to be fifteen. I swear your
honour, she looked at least twenty. A mixed lot, an audience. Much easier
reviewing a show.
And in the
absence of anything better the audiences provide it. I glimpsed the dress
rehearsal and a bit of the Saturday night but never got the full flavour of the
evening. Only audiences can do that. I saw bits that impressed and others that
didn’t but my view was distorted. I was picking at a bag of theatrical sweets
that this audience, reviewed and phone numbers ready, had been noshing at. They
seemed to enjoy it. Nonsense fun, lots of lovely food, some good singing and
acting, and a nice murder game at the end. A pleasant way to spend an evening
out. I am glad about that. I am glad the audience enjoyed St Andrews Murder
Mystery. I am particularly glad because I enjoyed them in their unexpected
roles. On this cruise, from this worm’s eye view, the tables were literally
turned.
St Andrews Players
'The Retrurn of Inspector Garbutt'
Stopsley High School, Luton.
November 7th - 10th 2012
